Coaching Corner: Self Care is not selfish

 

The best feeling as a health promoter is learning from my own students and in this example a past guest of H3. Dr. Romie has been a guest several times at H3 and came just last month as a special guest speaker to share with present guests how to Empower Your Brain, Transform your Body. She brought up a very interesting topic which I would like to share:

Why do we put ourselves last?

“Self-care is never a selfish act—it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer to others.”

~Parker Palmer

How many times have you heard a misrepresentation of self-care?  Of course I am taking care of myself, “I just bought a great new pair of shoes” or “I just went on a wonderful vacation!”  While none of these are wrong, they are just another part of self-care.  The self-care I am referring to is about embracing your inner child and doing some real parenting of that little kid.  You are the only person who can do that for yourself!  Self-care does not have to mean ditching our daily responsibilities and running off to a spa or on a vacation alone, self-care is taking just a few moments in each day to honor our bodies, our minds, and our souls.

Remember there is a difference between being self-absorbed and having a narcissistic behavior and sound internal self-care.  Self-care is about taking good care of our own feelings so we don’t project them onto others, act out of character, or cause barriers in relationships.  Being in touch with our own feelings, providing care for our emotional, physical, spiritual, and mental needs, and embracing them is the healthiest thing we can do.

Create a YOU List…Take the time to write and note the responses to these questions:

How do you care for yourself?

How do you acknowledge and validate the care for yourself?

What activities give you renewed energy, hope and/or calm you?

What activities drain you of energy or knock you off balance?

What brings you joy? If you can’t think of anything what used to bring you joy?

Make a list of ways that you can care for yourself better and put joy as a center point of your life.   It may be taking a nap, listening to your favorite song, phoning a friend, hugging your dog or child, taking a walk, lighting your favorite scented candle, or starting a new book.  Submerge your senses in sounds, sights, feelings, and tastes that create happiness, relaxation, and joy in your life.

As we learn better self-care, we become better people in general. When we are in touch with our own feelings, we can then reach out more effectively to others and show and share love and empathy.  If we are filling our own personal tanks with self-respect and loving care, we have much more to give to our families, friends, and the world in general.  What can you do this Thursday for twenty minutes of self-care?

Try to do something from your YOU list every day!

Dr. Romie has a wonderful website where you can find her “Self-Care is not Selfish” mantra and also many more inspiring and motivational topics: http://www.brainbodybeauty.com/articles.html.