Lean Into The Discomfort

I recently watched a Ted Talk by Brene Brown that explored the concept of vulnerability. It reminded me, once again, that true resilience is associated with both acknowledging unpleasant emotions and having the ability to lean into the discomfort. Doing so gives way to vulnerability, but vulnerability itself can be the birthplace of tremendous personal growth.

We unplug from our emotions just about every chance we get. Let’s face it, who wants to sit in despair, loneliness, shame, guilt, and betrayal? Yet, our feelings have an evolutionary purpose. Feelings help us reconcile the impact that the outside world and human interactions have on us by providing an internal barometer. What if we didn’t have them? How would we protect ourselves from unhealthy, destructive or dangerous relationships? How would we experience the joy associated with love or the gift of empathy which provides us motivation necessary for meaningful human connection?

When you embrace vulnerability, which is often a by-product of allowing yourself to experience difficult emotions, then you expand your emotional courage. You allow yourself to be imperfect. Imperfection is the place where personal growth embarks. Without it, our journey would be uninteresting and unproductive.

So, how does all of this play into your healthy lifestyle journey? For many of us, food, alcohol, cigarettes, compulsive spending, etc. are the distractions we use to avoid uncomfortable emotions. They numb us so we don’t have to truly feel the vulnerability. In the end, however, the distractions not only bolster our poor health but also suppress the courage inherent in vulnerability. If you want emotional resilience, you have to lean into the discomfort to allow growth. Brene Brown says it much better than me, so watch the link below and ask yourself if it’s time to truly feel.

Are You Ready?

This morning I went in for my pre-natal visit, and when my doctor informed me that I would be coming in now every 2 weeks, it suddenly hit me how quickly my due date is approaching!  Because I’m a planner by nature, my mind instantly went to, “Oh, my gosh, am I ready, what needs to be done?” 

Now, a few hours later, I’m settling into my thoughts.  Life has its way of hitting us with the unexpected, doesn’t it?  In my case, the event is expected, it’s the timeline that’s out of my hands.  No matter how much we prepare, there is always something that comes up that wasn’t in the picture we envisioned.  How resilient are you when “life” hits you with a whammy – positive or negative!?  Life’s curve balls are things like an injury, illness, divorce… but it can also be a surprise birthday party, a promotion that changes your routine, or, like me, a new little member to your family.

If you can keep a clear understanding of your vision and set forth each day with the mindset to do the best you can do that day to move closer to your vision, that’s really all you can ask of yourself.  Of course we all have days when we are ineffective or hinder that progress, but the sooner we can bounce back, the greater chance we have to realize that vision.  If we can ask ourselves, before each decision we make, “Will this take me closer or farther from my goal?”, and make the choice that takes us closer at least 7 out of 10 times, resilience is ours.   

What’s your vision?  Is your path still leading to one that motivates and inspires you?  What can you do today to take one step toward that goal?  If I could wish one thing for you for 2012… it would be Resilience.  Happy 2012!