A Season of Presence, Not Presents

We are full on in the holiday season. Presents are being given, you are debating taking down decorations now or in a week, and you are looking forward to the last few holiday parties with friends. During this most wonderful time of year let me ask: is your focus this season on Presents or Presence? How often do we run through the holiday season shopping, cooking, attending parties, get togethers, family gatherings, giving presents, leaving us feeling like we are doing well to “survive the holidays?” In keeping with the spirit of the season and focusing on being mindfully present in our lives, let’s take back this time of year and choose not to survive but to thrive.

Right now we are focused on what we can give to others. That is a wonderful mindset and something we should hold onto all year round. But it is also important to shower yourself with love and care. Here are a few FREE suggestions of gifts to give yourself during this season of spending.

• Time: Gift yourself 10-15 minutes during your day to be silent. Leave the journal at your side and spend time in quiet reflection. With no expectations, allow your mind to quiet and your soul to rest.


• Forgiveness: “Failing is as certain as sunsets. Our greatest glory is not in never failing, but in rising up every time we fail.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Is there something that you need to forgive yourself for? What can you learn from that experience as you rise up and continue forward?

• Self Love: Take some time and fill out this Self Love Letter from my Self Care lecture here at H3. Take some time to connect with all of the reasons why you are awesome!


• A Sense of Humor: He (she) who laughs, lasts. A good laugh can do amazing things to clear out the darkness. Smiling (even when you do not feel happy!) can change your outlook. Remember, every passing moment is the opportunity to turn it all around.

Are you thinking about New Years Day coming up? Are you stressing about writing New Year resolutions and making this year the best yet? Check out this great blog post written by Lisette last year, she offers a new perspective on looking at the New Year.

Progress Not Perfection

This holiday season, I'd like for you to focus on progress and not perfection. Every little strive you take toward improving your health is a step in the right direction. Check out this video from David and me and maybe this song will help you get through the holiday season with a little less stress!

When It’s Time to Reboot

A couple of weeks ago I had the mulley-grubs (no, it’s not a strange skin condition or parasite). The mulley-grubs are more like a state -- similar to being in a rut. I was cranky for absolutely no significant reason and everything seemed to take more time and effort.

Not one to dwell in the mulley-grubs, I quickly planned a girl’s weekend in Charleston with my best friend. We shopped, danced and laughed. Voila! No more mulley-grubs. It took just a 24-hour routine shake-up to “reboot” and shed the mulley-grubs.

It’s important to take notice of tiny ruts and sprinkle them with magic so they don’t become large ruts or a draining depression. It’s vital to change routines and spice up relationships so the mundane or everyday doesn’t transform into resentments and deprivation… that sense of missing out. It’s easy to slip into martyrdom where our happiness is on the other side of, “If only I had…If only I could...When this happens I’ll be happy.”

Possible cures for the mulley-grubs include an impromptu road-trip. Romance—booking a hotel room for you and your spouse and enjoying room-service (use the element of surprise by booking it at the last minute, in the middle of the work week). Also, try learning a new sport that’s completely out of your comfort zone. In fact, stepping out of your comfort zone is always a great way to challenge the mundane.

Being of service to others is another terrific way to break life’s monotony, as well as wake us from the martyrdom malaise. When we find ourselves helping others less fortunate than us, it quickly transforms that feeling of missing out into gratitude for what we already have.

Chances are that several of your friends are stuck in a rut as well. Get together and collectively decide on a new project, hobby or endeavor you can all do with excitement. Perhaps, it’s a fitness challenge— learning to belly dance or volunteering for Habitat for Humanity. Just make sure it’s something you look forward to and leaves you with a smile when you’re done.

Whatever strategy you use to reboot, make sure it’s health-enhancing. Destructive efforts to test the status quo will lead you further into unhealthy emotions and self-loathing. Always use the mulley-grubs as an opportunity to grow or connect.

What will you do today to reboot?

Coaching Corner: Finding Your Silent Night

It may seem strange in the last week before Christmas to write a blog post on silence. Despite the suggestion of the popular Christmas song “Silent Night,” the holiday season is anything but quite. There are relatives coming into town, Christmas music blaring in the shopping malls, horns honking, bells ringing—all of these things, however pleasant some might be, can be overwhelming.
We live in a culture where if you wanted to completely avoid silence, you would not be hard pressed. We wake up to an alarm, listen to the news while getting ready for the day, listen to traffic on the way to work, talk all day, listen in meetings, listen to work time radio. We then get in our cars and listen to traffic on the way home, listen to music while exercising, watch TV at night and then fall asleep. Does this sound familiar?
Silence is what introduces us to ourselves. It is where we learn what is important to us, what we want to achieve and how, what is acceptable to us and what is not. Silence can comfort us, but it can also challenge us. It shows us where we can improve; It shows us what needs to change, but it can also give us hope that we can do it!

The unexamined life is not worth living –Socrates

Do you ever feel as though you are living a life of reaction and not action? This is what can happen when we plug through life, jumping from one interaction to another and not stepping back and examining what is going on. Silence brings mindfulness, and mindfulness is the key to success in healthy living.
Here are some tips for adding silence into your life during the holidays:

• If the stress and energy of having a house full of people is overwhelming take a 3 minuet time out. Go to your room, bathroom or closet—somewhere you can close the door on all that is going on around you—set a timer and breathe deep. Use this as a time to reset your energy button. Seek out the source of stress and visualize yourself positivity handling the situation. Take a moment to get back to a place of action.


• Set your alarm for 15 minutes earlier than normal and use this as “me” time. Spend those 15 minutes in silence, meditation or prayer. Get your morning off to a good start by allowing yourself to wake up to a new day and not hit the ground running. Whether you set the alarm for 7:15 or 7:30, the process of waking up is the same; push through the temptation to hit the alarm and reward yourself with a low stress morning.


• Offer to get coffees or newspaper in the morning. Use this as an excuse to get out in the morning. Drive in silence and allow the day to unfold before you. Beginning the day with purposeful action is a great way to start the day.


• Go for a solo thermal walk. Sometimes getting out of the house is enough to clear the head and put you in a better place. Although it is cold and snowy this time of year, try your best to get outside. Bundle up and stick it out, the cool air can wake you right up!


• Make a gratitude list and reflect on it throughout day. Expressing gratitude for the things around us allows us to open up to the world and the good things that fill our lives. Reflecting on these things throughout the day can bring peace and enjoyment to our lives and allows us to be present in each moment.

Gratitude is noticing the extraordinary in the ordinary, and then taking the nanosecond to feel it. - Karen Krakower Kaplan

What are some things that you do during this busy season to bring some silence or peace into your life?

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff

Over the weekend, like many families, we spent a lot of time preparing our house for Christmas.  Icicle lights glow outside with a grazing reindeer, garland along the banisters, beautiful bows of red and gold and green… but most important of all, the Christmas tree!  In years past, we’ve had a small 3ft. tree because we were concerned that Hala (now almost 3 years old) would get to it, knock it over or worse, eat it.  We knew this year she would “get it” a little more – the whole Christmas story – so we decided to have a big tree.

Early last week Hala said to me, “Mama, I want Chris-cross tree,” to which I giggled and responded, “Okay Hunny, on Friday you can come with me and Daddy and help pick out a Christmas tree.”  She said, “I want BIG one.”  Perfect, I thought, this was going to really be a fun year to see her helping and getting excited about all the preparation.  So, Friday night we went out to get the tree.  She walked around the lot and picked one out nice and tall and round.  Daddy paid and Hala watched from behind my leg as the friendly couple trimmed it up.  We got it set up in front of the window in the living room, and explained that we had to let the branches rest overnight before we decorate it with pretty lights and ornaments. 

On Saturday, we set out to buy lights and hooks for the tree.  (I had purchased ornaments and ribbon last year during the after Christmas sales, so that’s really all we needed.)  Now, keep in mind this was only December 3^rd – can you believe that 3 stores were all sold out of white lights AND ornament hooks!?  We finally came across some LED lights at Lowe’s, along with some hooks at the grocery store.  I thought, okay, now we are set to make our tree simply beautiful!  But wait, Juan also requested tinsel for the tree – “Every tree just has to have tinsel,” he said.  As we search isle by isle, I notice it on the bottom shelf - “here you go, Babe”, I said, as I picked up a box (containing 1,000 strands) and tossed it in the cart.  “Wait!” said Juan, “That’s not enough!  The more the better!”  He proceeded to pick up TEN more boxes (again, 1,000 strands each), and tossed them into the cart.  I’m looking at him, mouth drawn open.  Now, you have to know Juan – he is extremely difficult to read.  Surely he’s joking, I thought.  At 67 cents a box, surely this is just some silly joke, just play along.  “Yeah, okay, that’s your deal,” I respond.

When we get home, Hala goes upstairs for a nap, and Mama and Daddy string the lights so the tree is ready when Hala gets up.  She helps Mama get all the ornaments on the tree.  Red ones and green ones and bronze… Hala’s favorite seemed to be the Little Einstein’s rocket that Grandma got her last year.  She very consciously hung each ornament on the tree – usually on one of the bottom branches and typically 3-4 ornaments per branch (gotta love kids!)  Dinner wrapped up the evening with the plan for Daddy and Hala to hang the tinsel the next day.  When the time came, I was upstairs stringing garland, and told Hala to go downstairs and help Daddy string the tinsel.  When I came downstairs I could not believe my eyes.  They used, not one, not two…. But TEN boxes of tinsel on the tree!  You can’t even see the tree!  It looks completely silver.  I was shocked.  He really, really did it.  I can’t believe he really used TEN boxes, 10,000 strands of tinsel, on our 7 foot tree. 

Now, I honestly do miss the beautiful tree underneath all that tinsel.  But… it’s more important to me to have the whole family involved with the preparation and feeling like they are making the holiday special.  I just smile to myself and to Juan each time he mentions how beautiful our tree now looks.  Tinsel or no tinsel, the holiday will still come, and we will still build lasting memories, like this and more.  I’m not sure what small stuff you may run across this year… just remember it’s just that, small stuff.  Happy Holidays!

[caption id="attachment_6901" align="alignleft" width="420" caption="About 5-6 ornaments made it to this one branch."][/caption]

 

[caption id="attachment_6902" align="alignleft" width="420" caption="The tree-10,000 strands of tinsel and all!!"][/caption]

The Holiday Paradox: Surviving Grief during Seasonal Celebrations

There are many of us who look forward to the traditional winter holidays with joy. The excitement is so omnipresent that as a culture, we only give a small nod to Thanksgiving before Christmas decorations and music are everywhere (a minor irritation to many of us trying to live a mindful, present life). However, for those of us who have lost someone special, the Holidays can be a sorrowful reminder.

At holiday time, we not only grieve for the person who died, but also for the life we lived with that person or for the dream of what that life was supposed to look like. People are reminded, once again, that real death, real loss, doesn’t happen all at once. It happens over time with little reminders like a familiar scent, or big reminders like a traditional Thanksgiving dinner with an empty chair.

Judy Heath, a Psychotherapist and author with over 20 years of experience in bereavement counseling reminds us, “Holiday celebrations are interwoven with memories of our loved ones and when we face those holidays without him/her it may become almost unbearable. When we are surrounded with the sights and sounds of the approaching holidays, we are reminded again and again that our lives have changed forever.” Although grief may suddenly intensify during the holidays and people may think they are going backwards in their mourning, Judy assures individuals that this is a natural part of the grieving process and that individuals need to find comfort in knowing they are exactly where they need to be.

It’s important to look ahead at the approaching holidays and prepare yourself for any emotional shifts that may arise. Here are a few suggestions by Judy Heath, MSW, LISW, that may help:

1. Be patient with yourself - Forget the "shoulds". Don't send out cards or feel obligated to decorate, if you don't want to. 

2. Be Realistic - Don't try to hide difficult moments.

3. Plan Ahead - Grievers lack concentration, so make lists!

4. Change something - Sometimes folks don't want to have that empty chair at the table so they decide to do something different. They may celebrate at someone else's home or take a trip. Think what might make you comfortable and then have a “Plan B" - just in case. It is often hard to predict how you'll feel on that day. I knew one lady who volunteered at a soup kitchen.

5. Let people help you - Cooking, cleaning, shopping, decorating - let others pitch in. Grief is lonely and zaps your energy.

6. Decide ahead if you want to hang your loved one's stocking, etc.

7. Sometimes people have a special ritual in memory of the deceased. Light a candle, tell stories about the person who passed, look at pictures.

8. Some churches have special services for those in grief.

For more information on moving through grief, or to purchase Judy Heath’s book, No Time for Tears: Surviving Grief in America, go to: http://www.judyheath.net/

Holiday Survival Guide: Fitness

It’s [almost] that time of year again.  The hustle and bustle of the holiday season is rapidly approaching ; full of family, friends, long lines, company parties and not to mention those irresistible holiday treats everywhere you turn.  With all that is coming up in the next few months, some of you are probably wondering how you’re going to maintain a healthy diet and exercise routine, while juggling your increasingly hectic schedule.  Don’t worry!  With the right attitude and a little planning, staying on track will be a breeze.

What do you do when there is no time to hit the gym?  Answer: have a back-up plan! Remember, doing something is always better than doing nothing (especially when it comes to exercise).  When you are pressed for time, opt for a quick 30 minute full body circuit routine, which incorporates both strength and cardiovascular training.  This holiday season, don’t let yourself sing the jingle bell blues because you let your workout plan go completely out the window.  Instead, give yourself some options so that you can stay on track and be merry all season long!

Jingle-bell rock your holiday habits into shape by examining five of Hilton Head Health’s surefire tips to maintaining a holiday exercise plan.

1. CONDENSE OR SHORTEN YOUR WORKOUTS

• Craft strength and resistance training sessions that are manageable to your holiday schedule (reduce a 60 minute routine to 30 minutes)

• Reduce cardio routines to whatever time you have, but kick up the intensity (5 to 10 minutes of intense cardio is better than doing nothing)

• Flip this page over for Hilton Head Health sample routines

 

2. USE HOLIDAY TRADITIONS TO YOUR ADVANTAGE

• Involve the entire family: cut down your own tree this year, put up the entire decoration collection or even twist the holiday shopping into an exercise affair

• Weather permitting; go ice skating, sledding, snowboarding, skiing, tubing walk and look at neighborhood decorations – find any excuse to keep the entire family moving!

 

3. PLACE EXERCISE AT THE TOP OF YOUR CHRISTMAS LIST

• Sit down before the season starts and schedule out the specific times you can exercise each week – plan it out

• Try working out before the day even starts that way you’ll be set for the entire day and work around family commitments

 

4. WRAP YOURSELF ONE OR TWO PRESENTS BEFORE THE SEASON BEGINS

• Buy versatile home exercise equipment that you can use at a moment’s notice such as a jump rope, resistance bands, a fit ball, a few light free weights and even a fitness video or two

 

5. PLAN TO RELAX

• Don’t lose sight of the real reason for the holidays – it’s a time to celebrate and spend with those closest to you

• Tis’ the season to be merry; hence make an effort to not to go overboard with fitting in every single workout, remain flexible and stress free!

• After the holidays it is essential to ease back into the normal routine

 

The Workouts

H3 Seasonal Strength Training

Duration: Less than 30 minutes

Warm Up:       5 minutes (Tread, Jump Rope, Jumping Jacks)

Routine:          2 – 3 full circuits

                        2:00 to 3:00 minute rest in between circuits

Exercise	Repetitions
Bench Squats	12 to 15
Dumbbell Chest Press	12 to 15
Bench Step Ups	12 to 15
Dumbbell Rows	12 to 15
Calf Raises	12 to 15
Dumbbell Tricep Kickbacks	12 to 15

Cool Down:    5 minutes (Tread, Walk)

 

H3 Seasons Greetings Calisthenics 

Duration: 10 minutes

Time	Callisthenic
0:00 to 1:00	Brisk walk outside or around the house
1:00 to 2:00	Jumping Jacks
2:00 to 3:00	Squats
3:00 to 4:00	High Knees
4:00 to 5:00	Lunges in place
5:00 to 6:00	Jump rope (pretend if you don’t have one)
6:00 to 7:00	Cross-Country Ski
7:00 to 8:00	Squats
8:00 to 9:00	Jumping Jacks
9:00 to 10:00	Cool it down – slowly walk

  

H3 Sleigh Ride Treading

Duration: 20 minutes

Treadmill	Incline	Min	Level	Elliptical/Bike
Warm up pace	3%	1 – 5	3	Warm up pace
Hill #1	6%	5 – 6	5	Hill #1
	9%	6 – 7	7
	12%	7 – 8	9
RPE 7	15%	8 – 9	10	RPE 7
Challenging pace!	12%	9 – 10	9	Challenging pace!
	10%	10 – 11	5
Speed (2 minutes)	5%	11 – 12	4	Speed (2 minutes)
Increase speed 0.2	4%	12 – 13	4	Increase arm use
Decrease speed 0.3	4%	13 – 14	4	Decrease pace
Hill #2	8%	14 – 15	6	Hill #2
	12%	15 – 16	8
	8%	16 – 17	6
Cool down	4%	17 – 18	4	Cool down
Decrease Speed 0.2	3%	18 – 19	3	Decrease pace
Decrease Speed 0.2	3%	19 – 20	3	Decrease pace

* Note increased intensity due to shorter duration