Lessons learned from my Father

Happy Father’s Day to all you fathers out there! Today is a great day to celebrate our dads and acknowledge all that they have done for and taught us throughout the years. More and more I am realizing the habits that I have taken from my father and the wisdom that he demonstrated. It is a rule in life that you can’t admit this until you are older and wiser J Here is a list of 20 things that my dad has lived and showed me.

1. Drink coffee..but not too much!


2. Tough times don’t last, but tough people do


3. You always have to be willing to laugh at yourself. Do not take yourself too seriously.


4. Find what topics light people up, their interests, and ask them about it.


5. Have a sense of adventure, travel, experience, try new things!


6. The importance of physical activity, get outside, it is good to move. (I was running track in kindergarten!)


7. Help others help you


8. Successful people do what unsuccessful people won’t do


9. The value of an education, in school and by gaining experience in the “real world”


10. Work hard, play hard. Go on vacations!


11. The value and importance of work—Do what you love, love what you do.


12. Travel is important, you have to be willing to step outside your comfort zone to see and experience new things


13. The importance of being a team player


14. You are never too old to learn or try something new


15. The value of a good power nap


16. Err on the side of conservative (didn’t like this one when I was young!): be thoughtful, mindful when taking risks.


17. Dance, be silly, laugh!


18. Watch television in moderation


19. You have to show some grit in life, you can always change your situation


20. Make mistakes, laugh at them, but learn from them

These are just a few lessons that I picked up from my dad. He has lots of sayings, things that I will use for the rest of my life.

What are some lessons or quotes passed on from your father?

The Motherhood Transition

As I move well into my 3^rd pregnancy, it’s amazing to think about all the changes that have happened around me, and inside of me, over the past four years.  I started off as a career-driven young woman who was petrified to have children.  The labor process was especially frightful to me, and on top of that, seeing how much time and energy children took—it was one more reason to doubt I would want any of my own.  Apparently it was in the stars for me anyway, and now that I have 2 sweet angels of my own, I wouldn’t change it for the world. The nurturing and love for your child is something greater than you could ever believe.  They can brighten my day in an instant through a simple smile, hug or funny phrase.

Let’s be real though, it’s not all sunshine and roses.  The body changes and schedule changes alone can throw anyone for a loop.  Change happens in areas you never even imagined. The guilt you can also feel if your child is sick or hurt can be hard to bare. Although reality tries to reason with your thoughts to help you understand you do not have complete control over everything, it rarely wins the battle.  The transition back to work, what you feed your child, how you discipline, how you interact with your spouse in front of your children…so many new challenges and the strongest desire not to fail you’ve ever felt… all happening at the same time. 

For many women, the greatest struggle with motherhood is learning how to create the right balance between providing care for your kids and care for yourself.  Whether you have young children like me, you’re facing those challenging teenage years, or your children have grown and started their adult lives, I know you can relate to this challenge of self care. With that in mind, I am excited to share with you the anticipation of a new workshop we are developing for 2012.  The workshop will be for Mother’s to unite together to discover and practice self care. Developed in collaboration of myself and H3’s Director of Behavioral Management, Lisette Volz (mother of 2), this workshop will feature group support around issues like Wearing all the Hats, and Wearing them Well, A Mother’s Body Image, Finding Peace in Hectic Schedules, Fitting in Fitness, Life’s Cycles: Hands-on Cooking, and the much needed Girls’ Night.  Whether it’s baby weight, emotional weight, the pressure of time or managing the total load, we are planning a weekend focused on health, fitness and relaxation that any Mother needs.

I am very excited for the opportunity to work with this woman’s only workshop.  If you also share an interest in this topic, please share any ideas or areas you would like to see addressed!  Stay tuned for dates and more information for this workshop coming in Fall 2012!

**Official Workshop dates have not been set. If interested, please call (800) 292-2440 to speak with a program consultant.

 

[caption id="attachment_7036" align="alignleft" width="420" caption="My Little Angels"][/caption]

 

Life Transition: Lessons Learned

[caption id="attachment_5578" align="alignnone" width="420" caption="\"Baby Jada\""][/caption]Today is my second day back from maternity leave, and so far it’s been a smooth transition back into the working world.  As I learned also with my first little girl, you can try and try, but there is no way to truly understand all the ways your life will change when you bring a new addition to your family.  Of course there are the “not-so-fun” changes, like waking up 3 and 4 times a night to a hungry baby, diapers that need to be changed, or the trouble a toddler gets into as a cry for the attention she used to always have.  That said, all these things never seem to outweigh the pure joy, love, and happiness you receive when you look at that baby’s smile and happy eyes.  It is a transition time for the whole family – a major event that each family member will always remember.  I’ve found it’s also a time that requires a lot of patience and flexibility.  Here are the lessons I’ve learned, or maybe I should say “reviewed”, over the past few weeks:

 

1.   Be in the moment

We cannot change the past, so don’t revel in it.  Our search for happiness should not only be in the future, as we never know how much “future” we have.  There is no better teacher than an infant child in showing us how important this life lesson is – no grudges, no worries, and a genuine happiness and pureness that is rarely seen elsewhere.  It may be impossible to have a life (an adult life) with no grudges or no worries, but it doesn’t hurt to strive for that!

 

2.   You’ve got to have “structured flexibility”

Anyone who’s been around children knows that they thrive when they have a routine.  There’s a time for eating, a time for play, a time for reading, a time for bath, a time for bed… and so the cycle goes.  But sometimes, one person’s routine does not mesh with another’s.  For too many nights I found myself saying, “what time is it?” and the answer was “Hala’s bath time, Jada’s fussy/cuddling time, parents’ dinner time… and all an hour behind.”  You can’t just throw up your hands and say “I quit.”  You make adjustments and carry on, and let go of the thought that it wasn’t the seamless evening you had planned.

 

Mother's Day Reflections

A special Mother's Day post from Jessica Lynn, the proud mother of a beautiful newly born girl.

First of all, Happy Mother's Day to all you beautiful Mama's out there!  On this day my thoughts are filled with wonderful memories I share with my Mother.  I reflect on the compassion, empathy, humor, support, advice and above all the unconditional love my mother has for me.  But in the past couple of years, my view of this special day now encompasses a whole new set of feelings, now that I am a mother of two little girls - Hala is two years old, and Jada just 6 weeks.  Now, I think about what kind of mother I want to be for my girls, and seek to ground myself on what's most important.   I want to infuse a healthy lifestyle into my children's up bringing.  Having fruit as a family snack, planning fun activities that are just that - active -, establishing effective communication skills... all these things are important to living an overall healthy life.  The more I think about what I want for my girls, the clearer it becomes that I have to want and do these things for myself as well - that is the best way to ensure my daughters a healthy life.  I have to remind myself that my habits and actions are very important in establishing healthy habits and actions in my children.

With everything that comes with being a mom, it can be hard not to lose your sense of self.  Children are so dependent on you for so many things, they become first priority.  And even when your children are grown, you never really outgrow the need for Mom.  It can be a real challenge to justify doing something for yourself every once in awhile.  Maybe that's why this day was made - to give mothers the chance to be first priority for a change.  So Mothers, today, don't be too humble, don't think you don't deserve it... be in the moment, open your heart and mind to what a huge impact you make on the lives of those around you, and soak it all in.  Because you deserve it.  Now take this moment of joy, pride, love... whatever you are feeling, and promise yourself that you will make yourself a priority more than just this one day this year.  I promise those around you will also be grateful.

Happy Mother's Day, today and each day after!