Coaching Corner: “Will”-power

I often ask my coaching clients, “What can you do or do differently to get closer to your goal?” Most people are very good at coming up with a laundry list of things that they could, should or would do. They sound like this: “I should eat less candy, drink more water, get more exercise, cook for myself,” etc., etc. Knowing what to do is rarely the issue. It’s “just doing it” that often stumps us.

Then comes the more difficult question, “What will you do today, tomorrow, this week?” That’s when the stuttering and stammering begin. Answers often begin with, “I’ll try… or I hope…” Does this sound familiar? What would it take to eliminate the try and the hope—to make a real commitment to action? You see, there is often an enormous gap in what we can do and what we will do.



Take out a pen and paper and write out three specific actions you are willing to take today that will bring you closer to your healthiest, best self, and start every item with the words “I will.” For example:
• I will walk for 30 minutes after breakfast.
• I will eat two servings of vegetables at dinner.
• I will go to bed at 10 p.m.

Then make sure these three things happen. Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. It doesn’t matter how simple the actions are. What matters is that you train your brain to do what you say you will do. Healthy habits are formed through repetition—by making a decision and taking the action, one day at a time.

You have everything you need to achieve your goals. You know what you want and what it takes to get it. So, next time you catch yourself saying, “I’ll try,” or “I hope,” own your power and say, “I will.”

Linda Hopkins is a Coach for the H3@Home program. Click here if you'd like to learn more about this at-home, extension of our weight loss program.

The one skill you must have to lose weight, get healthy

How many times have you promised yourself you were going to eat right, start exercising, lose weight, get healthy? I made those promises to myself for over 30 years, experiencing some success, only to undo it and start over again and again and again. My weight was a literal battleground as I bounced from one diet and/or obsessive exercise routine to another. I was in a constant war with myself that included plenty of guilt, shame and punishment.

What was wrong with me? Why did food have so much power over me? Why did I allow it to rule my life? Was I lacking some magic motivation gene or willpower chromosome? Around age 45, I began to take a closer look at my way of life and the choices I was making. I realized I wasn’t missing anything. I had simply lost faith in myself.

It may come as a surprise to you as it did to me, but losing weight and getting healthy for life doesn’t have to be complicated. Chances are you already know exactly what to do. You just don’t do it. Most people think they need a lot of motivation and willpower. You don’t even need that. What you must have is self-belief. If you’ve stopped believing in yourself, the first step toward losing weight and getting healthy is to rehabilitate your word.

To regain trust in yourself, make a list of actions or tasks that you’ve been putting off that would make a difference in your life if you completed them. They can be small, easy actions, like returning a phone call, filing some paperwork, cleaning out your purse or closet… Or, they can be significant like clearing up a misunderstanding with a friend or family member or volunteering for a charity project. Don’t get stuck on the magnitude of the action. It doesn’t have to be a giant step like getting married/divorced or going back to school—although it could be.

Sometimes just clearing off your workspace or calling for a medical checkup or hair appointment can give you a breath of mental fresh air. There’s no right or wrong. Just do it. Make a list of 3-5 things each day. As you check items off of this list, your brain will get the message: When he/she says something is going to be done, it gets done. You are retraining your subconscious mind to know that your word is golden.

If you have this one skill—the ability to keep your word—you will accomplish what you set out to do, no motivation or willpower required. I will ________ (exercise, choose healthy food, eat smaller portions, drink more water, etc.) because I said I would.

Weight loss doesn’t begin with a diet. It starts with a decision. What’s on your healthy to-do list? Start trusting yourself to get the job done, one step, one day, one decision at a time.

 

4 Steps In Improving Your Self-Efficacy

Albert Bandura, regarded as the greatest living psychologist, coined the term self-efficacy.  He once famously said of self-efficacy; “People who believe they have the power to exercise some measure of control over their lives are healthier, more effective and more successful than those who lack faith in their ability to effect changes in their lives.”  Cultivating a belief in our capability of performing tasks to ascertain our goals is the single most important factor in living a healthy lifestyle.  Bandura points to four sources affecting self-efficacy;

 1. Mastery Experience:  Simply put, success raises self-efficacy, failure lowers it. 

 This is the single most influential way at either increasing or decreasing self-efficacy.  Find ways to shrink change into manageable and attainable tasks.  Dave Ramsey, a popular financial consultant, has helped millions of people escape drastically overwhelming debt.  His method, though unorthodox, has been extremely effective.  He has his clients take all their debt and rank it from lowest to highest.  At the top of the list a client might have a several hundred dollar past due electric bill while at the bottom of the list the client has a forty thousand dollar credit card bill.  He advises the client to pay the minimum on everything and take what’s left at the end of the month and put it toward the number at the top of the list.  Other financial advisors have scoffed at this method since the payer is focusing their attention on the bill with the lowest interest rate.  But, Ramsey’s method ensures that the client is able to quickly conquer one of the bills, giving them a mastery experience.  This success raises self-efficacy and results in what Ramsey calls the “Snowball Effect”.  In the following month the client is left with more money at the end of the month to pay down the next bill.  Create your list of tasks and start with the most manageable!

 2. Vicarious Experience:  If they can do it, I can do it as well.

If one of your peers who is perceived to have similar abilities as you succeeds then you in turn derive an increased sense of self-efficacy.  Vicarious experience is especially powerful when one is unsure of him- or herself.  Surround yourself with people that are driven to succeed.

 3. Social Persuasions:  If others think I can, then I will.

Encouragement from peers can have a strong influence on attaining your goals, whereas, negative persuasions decrease the likelihood of accomplishing a task.  One of the most brilliant additions to Facebook has been the “LIKE” button, and the omission of the “DISLIKE” button .  I imagine that it ranks near the top of things that sent the social network skyrocketing.  Distance yourself from the “DISLIKE” type of people and surround  yourself with the ones that “LIKE” or are giving you genuine praise for your achievements.

4. Physiological Factors:  Butterflies in the stomach is a normal response

We all experience physiological responses during stressful situations.  Famous athletes and speakers have dealt with anxiety before a big event or speech.  The trick to keeping physiological responses from affecting performance is in how you perceive them.  Convince yourself that the symbolic “butterflies in your stomach” is normal and unrelated to your actual ability.  When out to dinner with a group of friends remind yourself that the sweaty palms you have from being anxious about the menu options is normal and you will not let it affect your decision.

Coaching Corner: Try something new for 30 days

As October comes to an end, I find myself asking that very same question … where did the month go? Whether we like it or not, it seems that life tends to get faster and the weeks roll by even quicker. I’m one of those people hwo always must stay busy so when I stumbled across this recent TED Talk by Matt Cutts, I said to myself ‘this is what I can add!’

Have you ever had that one thing that you’ve always wanted to implement as part of your lifestyle? That one thing that’s on your growing to-do list but never gets accomplished? For me, I know I need to find more time to not only relax, but reflect on my life. With this goal in mind, I’ve been working on adding beach walks once per day—no cell phone interference, music or anything—just me. I make sure to hit this walk first thing in the morning with a cup of coffee or later into the evening before its time for bed.

The beach walk is my first 30 day challenge and I totally have confidence that this small change will become sustainable. Check out Matt’s talk and let me know what you think. You may find that when November starts this coming Wednesday, you’ll be adding your own 30 day challenge!

 

 

Benefits of adding something new for 30 days:

• You’ll remember every month and it won’t just pass you by


• The to-do-list veteran will finally be crossed off


• It can build your self-confidence


• Monthly small changes will lead to sustainable changes

In addition to the video, check out HabitForge, a cool website that keeps the accountability of something you’re adding to your lifestyle through a simple email every day.

Coaching Corner: Find Strength with Self-Efficacy

We’ve heard about having high self-esteem, but what’s self-efficacy all about?  Defined by Albert Bandura, self-efficacy is a person’s belief in their capability to successfully accomplish a certain task. Often confused with self-esteem; which pertains more to the extent to which we like ourselves.

When it comes to individual lifestyle behaviors, self-efficacy is the belief that you can eat 5 fruits and vegetables a day, exercise for 60 minutes 5 days in a week or lose 5 lbs in a month.  It happens to be the most powerful predictor of motivation - how well a person will do at almost any undertaking.  Having high amounts of this self-efficacy X factor leads to better performance and quicker improvements as we change behaviors.  Think about it like this, if I believe that my body is capable of pushing one more mile out then in all likelihood I will reach the finish line. The more self-efficacy a person has the more efficient and effective they will be in accomplishing a task.

I think the best example of a high level of self-efficacy is a runner by the name Rick Ball. In 1986, Rick lost his left leg below his knee in a motorcycle accident near his home in Ontario. As a result of the accident, his left leg is a prosthetic. Ball had not been a runner before the accident, but he said he felt sorry for himself but also mentioned "Everybody has their challenges. It's what you do about it in the end." Rick’s belief in himself, one leg or not, took him to marathon finish of 2 hours 57 minutes and 47 seconds!! To put this in perspective the average marathon finish time in 2009 was 4 ½ plus hours. That kind of time is good for a top 25 finish in most marathons. This just goes to show you that Ball’s level of self-efficacy has led him to finish many FAST marathons and prove to others that all it takes is trusting that you can accomplish something.  Check out his video below to learn more about the hero: http://bcove.me/0m4gs4gn

So how do you become more like Mr. Ball? Here are three ways to improve your Self-Efficacy when it comes to  personal health:

1.     Find Self-Mastery

• Experience personal success at creating a new healthy behavior 


• Convinces us that we have what it takes to accomplish other difficult tasks

Example: Exercising three days a week for 60 minutes on consecutive weeks

2.       Watch a Role-Model

• When we observe others success in establishing a behavior it gives us belief


• Sparks new ideas and inspires our confidence to act in a similar successful manner

Example: Checking out how a friend prepares a healthy meal 

3.       Listen to Positive Outside Sources

• The best way to believe you can do something is hearing it from others


• Surround yourself with people who are confident in your abilities


• Accept the encouragement and trust that the source is being honest

Example: Hearing “Hey, you really look like you have a lot more energy lately”

 

Sources:

Understanding and Developing Self-Efficacy; 2006 Encyclopedia of Industrial/Organizational Psychology
The Inspiration: Rick Ball, Mark Remy, http://www.runnersworld.com/article/0,7120,s6-243-560--13734-0,00.html