Body Image Vs. Self-Esteem

Self-Esteem

For most of us, carrying excess weight becomes a heavy burden on our self-esteem. We look in the mirror with self-loathing and the way we feel about our body slowly becomes the way we feel about ourselves.
I was reminded of this dynamic recently on an invigorating power walk. Pumping my arms and taking long enthusiastic strides along my favorite work-out route, Pit Bull blasted through my headphones. Passing a familiar home with a for-sale sign in the front yard I took notice of an addition to the sign that read, “I’m Beautiful Inside.” Wow, what a great reminder!

Body Image

As our body image takes shots at our self-esteem, we need to learn to fight back. Changing our body takes time, so some unsavory messages are bound to surface on occasion. It’s important that when that happens,

"we turn our attention to our inner strengths so that we don’t provide fertile ground for those negative messages to grow. Remembering that we are not our bodies, our bodies are where we live."

What are the qualities contained within the body that you admire or love? What are things you love about yourself that have nothing to do with your body? For instance, I love my sense of humor, my compassion, my ability to be non-judging and accepting of others. Those are things that make me beautiful inside, just like the real estate sign says.

Inner Beauty

When we remind ourselves of our inner beauty, it makes us more accepting of our body and preserves our self-esteem. That’s really a win-win situation. You can love your body and still want to change it, but reminding yourself of some of your virtuous qualities makes it a lot easier to do.

Give it a try. Write down five things you like about yourself that have nothing to do with your body for the next ten days straight. I guarantee that at the end of the ten days you will feel infinitely better about both yourself and your body!

No Comparison

Some of the most unhappy years of my life were years when I wanted to be like everybody else. I spent a lot of time comparing myself to others and, in my mind, always coming up short. Plagued by a sense of insecurity and all my imaginary reasons for feeling “not good enough,” I turned to food as both a source of comfort and a hiding place. In response, exercise became a form of punishment and a way to earn more food—a vicious cycle and a miserable existence, to say the least.

After a lifetime of yo-yo dieting and obsessive exercise, I discovered that the key factor to managing my weight actually had little to do with calories, carbs or crunches and everything to do with how I perceived myself. Until I could love myself enough to take care of my body, mind and spirit, no amount of dieting or exercise could begin to solve the problem.

As a wellness coach, I am fully aware that a list of rules about what to eat and how much to exercise is not the complete answer. While it is important to nourish our bodies with healthy food and to exercise consistently, the very foundation of health is our sense of self-worth and the value we place on our existence here on earth.

In her video on self-love, author Louise Hay uses babies as an example. “Ever hear a baby say, ‘My hips are too big?’” she asks.

Think about a newborn baby who has no reason not to be totally in love with his/her body. He will be thoroughly fascinated with his fingers and tiny toes. She will be completely unselfconscious about her fat knees, pudgy belly and unruly hair. That’s because babies live in the moment. They love themselves unconditionally! It is only when they hear criticism from the outside world that they begin to question their value. It happens to the best of us. We grow up! We compare ourselves. And the effects are often debilitating.

Before we can change the behaviors that are impacting our health, we must first fully accept ourselves and value who we are. After all, would you tell an overweight child, “I’ll love you when you lose weight?” Of course not! So why would you love yourself any less now than you will when you lose 30 pounds? Start today. And if you find it difficult, try just being “in like” with yourself for a few hours. (You can always go back to hating yourself if it doesn’t work out!)

Loving yourself is not a sign of vanity or arrogance. It’s a matter of respecting and appreciating the magnificent being that you are—not will be, could be or should be—but already are.

Who wants to be like everybody else when you can be the one and only, original YOU!

Pop Quiz: Fill in the blanks

People often say that I’m good at _______________________________________.

My closest friends value me for my _____________________________________.

The qualities I value most in myself are __________________________________.

I’m proud of myself because ___________________________________________.

Coaching Corner: Getting to Know You

“Comparison is the thief of joy,” this is a quote that was first spoken by Theodore Roosevelt and can really resonate with a lot of people. In our quest to become our best selves it can be tempting to look around at others and get discouraged with our efforts and with ourselves. Be on guard against the temptation; stay focused on your journey.

Diversity is what makes the world unique. We all have different things that we bring to the table. Different strengths and abilities, different perspectives and yes, different body types as well. Here are 3 ways that we can stay focused on our journey and live a joy-filled life.

1.    Know who you are and be clear of your vision

“The more you know who you are, and what you want, the less you let things upset you.” –Lost in Translation

Know yourself; know your strengths and motivators. Know those things that you do well and what you value. If you are unsure take these questions to the classroom of silence. Close the door on the busy world and brainstorm. Here are some more questions for self reflection.

• What is one goal that motivates you?


• What is something that you look forward to almost every day?


• What is the best compliment that you have received?


• What is one quote or reminder worth reviewing daily?

2.    Every life is unique and different

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid” – Albert Einstein

Know that you are unique and different. Look at what YOU are the best at doing. Look at athletes in the wide world of sports, there are many different body types that make them the best at what they do. Michael Phelps’s has a body build for swimming, not sprinting like Usain Bolt. Gymnast Shawn Johnson won 3 silver and 1 gold medals in the 2008 Beijing Olympics. She is open about her struggles with body image.

 

“I was at the Olympic Games winning medals and I still doubted my image. I doubted what I looked like. That's sad. Girls should be taught different than that. I think everyone should be taught different than that." –Shawn Johnson

Always be your best and know you have different abilities, strengths, and celebrate that!

3.    Become the best version of YOURSELF

“Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.” - Judy Garland

Do not try to be anyone else then you. This does not mean that we are not open to change and growth, just the opposite we are continuing to learn and grow into who we are. Pursue those things that you enjoy and celebrate progress! Keep that vision in front of you. Glance at others only in passing, stay focused on your journey and be joyful!

4 Steps In Improving Your Self-Efficacy

Albert Bandura, regarded as the greatest living psychologist, coined the term self-efficacy.  He once famously said of self-efficacy; “People who believe they have the power to exercise some measure of control over their lives are healthier, more effective and more successful than those who lack faith in their ability to effect changes in their lives.”  Cultivating a belief in our capability of performing tasks to ascertain our goals is the single most important factor in living a healthy lifestyle.  Bandura points to four sources affecting self-efficacy;

 1. Mastery Experience:  Simply put, success raises self-efficacy, failure lowers it. 

 This is the single most influential way at either increasing or decreasing self-efficacy.  Find ways to shrink change into manageable and attainable tasks.  Dave Ramsey, a popular financial consultant, has helped millions of people escape drastically overwhelming debt.  His method, though unorthodox, has been extremely effective.  He has his clients take all their debt and rank it from lowest to highest.  At the top of the list a client might have a several hundred dollar past due electric bill while at the bottom of the list the client has a forty thousand dollar credit card bill.  He advises the client to pay the minimum on everything and take what’s left at the end of the month and put it toward the number at the top of the list.  Other financial advisors have scoffed at this method since the payer is focusing their attention on the bill with the lowest interest rate.  But, Ramsey’s method ensures that the client is able to quickly conquer one of the bills, giving them a mastery experience.  This success raises self-efficacy and results in what Ramsey calls the “Snowball Effect”.  In the following month the client is left with more money at the end of the month to pay down the next bill.  Create your list of tasks and start with the most manageable!

 2. Vicarious Experience:  If they can do it, I can do it as well.

If one of your peers who is perceived to have similar abilities as you succeeds then you in turn derive an increased sense of self-efficacy.  Vicarious experience is especially powerful when one is unsure of him- or herself.  Surround yourself with people that are driven to succeed.

 3. Social Persuasions:  If others think I can, then I will.

Encouragement from peers can have a strong influence on attaining your goals, whereas, negative persuasions decrease the likelihood of accomplishing a task.  One of the most brilliant additions to Facebook has been the “LIKE” button, and the omission of the “DISLIKE” button .  I imagine that it ranks near the top of things that sent the social network skyrocketing.  Distance yourself from the “DISLIKE” type of people and surround  yourself with the ones that “LIKE” or are giving you genuine praise for your achievements.

4. Physiological Factors:  Butterflies in the stomach is a normal response

We all experience physiological responses during stressful situations.  Famous athletes and speakers have dealt with anxiety before a big event or speech.  The trick to keeping physiological responses from affecting performance is in how you perceive them.  Convince yourself that the symbolic “butterflies in your stomach” is normal and unrelated to your actual ability.  When out to dinner with a group of friends remind yourself that the sweaty palms you have from being anxious about the menu options is normal and you will not let it affect your decision.

Coaching Corner: To Lighten Up, Show Some Love

As a coach, I frequently hear people put themselves down, beat themselves up, lament what they are lacking, and virtually wallow in a quagmire of self-hatred and hopelessness. If you are having trouble acknowledging your own specialness—your value, your contribution, your reason for being—it’s no wonder you are struggling to lose weight and get healthy.

You see, to “lighten up” requires working from the inside out. It means mustering up some compassion for ourselves, forgiving ourselves for past transgressions and perceived shortcomings, finding our place and purpose in the world and letting go of old beliefs, habits and attitudes that stop us from being all that we can be. At the root of it all is self-love, and it starts with knowing your value.

I was struck by this when I lost my mother in 1987, ten years later when my grandmother joined her in heaven, again when my husband took his last breath in 2001 and recently when one of my beloved cats traveled over the “Rainbow Bridge.” When a person (or pet) leaves this world, there will never be another “them.” This realization bowls me over the same way as the vastness of the universe. I can’t just go out and get another mother or grandmother. I can remarry, but a new husband doesn’t take the place of the one who is gone; I can buy or adopt another cat, but it will have its own personality and place in my heart… Thankfully, the heart is expandable and there’s more love to go around. But it bears noting that each precious life is, in a word, irreplaceable.

So what does this tell me about me? It tells me that I am a unique creation—a distinctive combination of genetic material, yes, but also a product of my experiences along with my thoughts, beliefs, attitudes, interests, talents and flaws. There is no other person in the world just like me and there never will be. That’s a pretty powerful thought and one that leads me to feel a certain degree of responsibility. If there’s only one me, then I can’t afford to be anything less than the best version of me.

What about you? You are a one-of-a-kind creation. Like fingerprints, snowflakes and diamonds, you are different by design—exceptional, rare, a universal treasure. When you show up as less than your best, you are depriving the world and all who love you of your special gifts. So are you ready to lighten up?

Weight loss doesn’t start with counting calories or buying a gym membership. It starts with counting your blessings and buying into your worth. Loving yourself is the key. Don’t wait. Make a sign today that says, “I deeply and completely love and accept myself.” Post it in a place where you will see it every day. Look at yourself in the mirror and repeat the words until they become your truth. When you love yourself honestly, wholeheartedly and unconditionally, taking care of your body is a given, and the number on the scale will take care of itself.

Coaching Corner: Finding your "-ness"

You are unique. There is no one else out there like you. Think about that for a minute. There is no one else who has your experience, opportunities, resources, background or future.  We may be similar, we may share a lot with family, spouses, and friends but we are all on our own journey.

One of my favorite movies is called You, Me, and Dupree. It stars Owen Wilson, a not quite grown up adult who goes to live with his recently married friends. It is a very silly movie but there is one element that always stands out and inspires me. Dupree (Wilson) talks about finding your “-ness”. What is “-ness”? It is your name with a “-ness” on the end. Example: Amy-ness. It is that thing that sets us apart and makes us unique. It is in essence what we have to bring to the table of life.

As we are setting about adopting new healthy habits and establishing a new healthier self, let us not forget what makes you “you”. Do not focus too much on things to be changed but on those things that are alive within you. Seek out those things that you are doing well and things that you enjoy doing. Build on those strengths and everything else will follow.

We are all on our own health journey, we all have our own unique “-ness”. Sit down today in the quiet and make a list of those things that make you who you are. Think about:

• What values do I strive to live by?


• What excites me?


• What part of my life is most important to me?


• What would I like to accomplish?


• What are the main motivators in my life?


• How can I use these assets on my health and wellness journey?


• How can I build upon these things to become the best version of myself?

Remember you are unique and special. We are whole people, not broken needing to be fixed. Celebrate your “-ness” and everything else will fall into place.

Yes you can - love yourself!

What is Body Image?  Body image is not about what you actually look like.  Body image refers to your relationship with your body—your beliefs, perceptions, thoughts, feelings, and actions related to your body.  Body image is influenced by cultural pressures, interpersonal factors (e.g., relationships), individual factors such as mood, and physical factors like body weight. 

 

According to a body image survey conducted by Psychology Today magazine, body dissatisfaction is soaring among both women and men.  Physical factors, such as gaining weight, are the most common cause of negative feelings toward the body.  67% of women over age 30 are unhappy with their weight.  15% of women and 11% of men say they would sacrifice more than five years of their lives to be the weight they want.  24% of women and 17% of men say they would give up more than three years. 

 

The most reliable way to develop positive feelings about your body is to exercise, just for the pleasure of it.  (Yes, you read that correctly!)  People who exercise for strength, fitness, health tend to feel more satisfied with their bodies than people who focus on exercise only as a means to achieve weight control.  When you stop focusing on how your body looks and start appreciating what it can help you accomplish—walking, swimming, picking up and playing with grandchildren—you tend to feel more satisfied.

 

There are ways to improve your body image and how you feel about yourself.  Here are a few tips to help you LOVE yourself:

 

1.  Evaluate yourself using criteria other than physical appearance.  Focus on your success at work, with your family, participating in recreational activities, friendships and community involvement.  You are defined by so much more than your appearance.

 

2.  Appreciate the positive qualities of your body, especially what it can do for you.  Think about everything your body allows you to do:  walk, hug your children and enjoy seeing a sunrise.  Also think about what feels good to your body—the sensual pleasures.

 

3.  Engage in behaviors that help you feel good about yourself, such as exercising or buying an outfit that you look and feel good wearing.

 

4.  Limit your exposure to images that make you feel badly about your body.  Stop buying fashion magazines or men’s magazines that feature perfectly buff bodies.

 

5.  Seek out people who respect and care about your body.  Teach them how to talk about your body in a positive way.

 

6.  To help boost your body image and self-appreciation, you will need to identify and change your negative thoughts about your body.  For help doing this, check out Thomas Cash’ book The Body Image Workbook:  An 8-Step Program for Learning to Like Your Looks. . 

 

7.  The next step will be to examine what may be going on underneath your body dissatisfaction.  Is focusing on your body distracting you from addressing something else that needs your attention?  For example, is it possible that your relationship problems may be due to shyness and/or lack of social skills, rather than to your weight? 

 

This week at H3, we are focusing a little extra time on helping you create a loving relationship with the most important person in your life – you!  Because if you don’t love yourself, who will?

Hello Everyone!

Hello all past, present and future H3 Guests! My name is Allie and I am interning here at Hilton Head Health this summer. You can read more about me in the “About Us” section. Whether you came last week or three years ago or you are hoping to come in the near future, this blog will give you the information to help you stay on track and continue living your healthy lifestyle.

 

What will be on here?

Posts will feature workouts to try, current events/research finds, tips, guides (i.e. dining out, grocery shopping), recipes, success stories, H3 updates, tutorials, videos and much more—all with a personal touch. However, I want to post what you all want to read! Feel free to suggest content that you would like to see on this blog by making a comment on a post or by emailing me at getinspired@hhhealth.com.

Be sure to check back daily, weekly, or whenever you need a nudge in the healthy direction. Use our blog as part of your morning routine—that way you start your day with the right mindset. Sometimes all we need is a good start to the day.

So please follow me on this journey—to spreading health and happiness!

Take care,

Allie