Finding a Solution to Negative Body Image

Body image can be a sensitive subject for many—men and women included. I believe there’s an imbalance when we begin to outweigh how others perceive us over how we perceive ourselves. So how do you handle challenges with body image? We all struggle with it from time to time, but finding a healthy plan of action is key to overcoming moments of vulnerability.

Kjerstin Gruys, a 29-year-old PhD student in sociology, is tackling her longtime struggle with body image by avoiding mirrors for an entire year. For her, avoiding mirrors is allowing her to focus on the way she feels on the inside instead of how she looks on the outside. (Read Gruys full story here.)

I’m not suggesting you remove every mirror in your house, but what I am proposing is you find an exercise that works for you. In a recent empowerment mini-workshop held here at H3, participants threw out negative words that have been said to them in the past and wrote positive messages across a mirror. Here are a few other simple exercises you may find useful:

• Write down at least one positive thing about yourself each day—keep adding to the list so on days when you’re not feeling very confident you will have a slew of positive characteristics to turn to. After reading your list, free your mind of negative thoughts and focus on the truth in all the positives on your list.


• Don’t be afraid of a little arrogance. Sometimes it’s necessary to brag on yourself! If you’re proud of an accomplishment, no matter how big or small, don’t be ashamed to literally give yourself a high-five or pat on the back. It may sound silly and you may look silly doing it, but hopefully it will bring a smile to your face.


• Going along with the second point, remember to give yourself compliments. If you like the healthy dish you made for dinner, share the recipe with friends or post the picture for others to see. If you like an outfit you put together, look in the mirror and tell yourself, “man, I look good!” Don’t get hung up on the things you can’t change but be proud of who you are and your journey to that momen.
  
  [caption id="attachment_8449" align="alignright" width="420" caption="H3 Empowerment Workshop"][/caption]

 

 

 

 

Love Your Body Day!

Happy love your body day! Every year people all around the nation celebrate love your body day. Love your body day is “a day of action to speak out against poor body image.” The mission of this day is to raise awareness, provide assistance, enhance lifestyle and promote a healthy, well balance life. Today is a day to celebrate who you are whether you are a man, women, or child.

The U.S. population spends billions of dollars every year on cosmetics, fashion, magazines and diet aids. These industries work very hard to make us believe that our bodies need constant improvement. Print ads and television commercials are airbrushed and touched up to meet impossible standards. It is no wonder that 80 percent of all U.S. women and nearly half of all U.S. men are dissatisfied with their appearance.

There has been a point in everyone’s life when we feel unhappy about how big our noises are, wishing we had straighter teeth, or wishing we could fit into those skinny jeans. It is important to realize and remember that everyone is different. We all have different genetics. If everyone ate the same and did the same amount of exercise, we would not all look the same. Genetics influence facial features, body shape, height, and weight—the things that help make us uniquely beautiful. Today is a day to celebrate imperfections and to realize that we are beautiful the way we are!

Some of you may have done this in a lecture at H3, but today I challenge you to do it again. Sit down and make a list of 7 physical features you like about yourself. Don’t short change yourself and stop before you reach 7; you may even find that the list goes on and on… If you’re willing to, we’d love for you to share!

"That which is striking and beautiful is not always good, but that which is good is always beautiful." ~Ninon de L'Enclos

Getting Ready for Swimsuit Season

With summer and hot weather approaching, bathing suit-and-shorts season is upon us.  Women (and men) often tell me that they will not wear a bathing suit, sleeveless shirt, and/or shorts because of their negative feelings about their body.  They are worried that people will judge them.  Unfortunately, because of their desire to feel psychologically comfortable, they may be physically uncomfortable.  Furthermore, they miss out on swimming, boating, or going to the beach--activities they would enjoy.   

If you avoid wearing certain clothes because you’re embarrassed about your body, start by challenging your fear that people are judging you.  Many people may not even be paying any attention to you or what you’re wearing.  How do you know that people are judging you?  Yes, some people may judge/criticize you because of your weight (and that reflects negatively on them, not you), but not everyone will do so.  Some people may give you credit for participating in the fun instead of sitting on the sidelines. 

Instead of saying “I can’t wear a bathing suit,” ask yourself “how can I wear a bathing suit?”  What could you do to feel more comfortable in your bathing suit?  Wear a t-shirt or cover up over it? 

Ask yourself whether it’s really worth missing out on feeling comfortable (physically) or participating in fun activities because of how you feel about your body.  Do you really want to allow your fear that people will judge you to control your behavior?

Appreciate the Positives

In this brand new year, how about resolving to be kinder to your body? 

Many people treat their body like their enemy.  They are unhappy with how their body looks and how it performs, and they may blame their body for some (or much) of their unhappiness.  People often realize, looking back, that they were dissatisfied with their body even when they were 25 or 50 lbs lighter. 

To be kinder to your body, focus on the gifts your body has given you, not just the negatives.  We often forget about and/or take for granted all the wonderful things our body does for us.  Our body keeps on running, even when we don’t give it enough/proper fuel (sleep and/or good nutrition).  We don’t expect our cars to run on empty, yet we assume that our body will keep going even when it’s dangerously low on fuel. 

Think about what your body allows you to do.  For example, my body lets me walk and control (well, mostly!) my two big dogs (who outweigh me), even when they’re itching to chase a squirrel or deer.  How cool is that?

What has your body done for you lately?  Perhaps your body has …

• Taken you to the top of a hill


• Gotten stronger


• Stayed awake so you could drive home safely


• Learned a new physical skill


• Created a human being


• Fought off an infection


• Rewarded you with the sight of a beautiful rainbow or sunset


• Kept going, despite being in pain


• Given you the sound of children laughing


• Allowed you to enjoy the exquisite touch of another person

When you start criticizing your body (“I hate my thighs,” “I’m not as fit as I used to be”), please try to think of two positives for every negative.  If you appreciated your body and treated it like your friend—not your enemy—what would you do differently??

Yes you can - love yourself!

What is Body Image?  Body image is not about what you actually look like.  Body image refers to your relationship with your body—your beliefs, perceptions, thoughts, feelings, and actions related to your body.  Body image is influenced by cultural pressures, interpersonal factors (e.g., relationships), individual factors such as mood, and physical factors like body weight. 

 

According to a body image survey conducted by Psychology Today magazine, body dissatisfaction is soaring among both women and men.  Physical factors, such as gaining weight, are the most common cause of negative feelings toward the body.  67% of women over age 30 are unhappy with their weight.  15% of women and 11% of men say they would sacrifice more than five years of their lives to be the weight they want.  24% of women and 17% of men say they would give up more than three years. 

 

The most reliable way to develop positive feelings about your body is to exercise, just for the pleasure of it.  (Yes, you read that correctly!)  People who exercise for strength, fitness, health tend to feel more satisfied with their bodies than people who focus on exercise only as a means to achieve weight control.  When you stop focusing on how your body looks and start appreciating what it can help you accomplish—walking, swimming, picking up and playing with grandchildren—you tend to feel more satisfied.

 

There are ways to improve your body image and how you feel about yourself.  Here are a few tips to help you LOVE yourself:

 

1.  Evaluate yourself using criteria other than physical appearance.  Focus on your success at work, with your family, participating in recreational activities, friendships and community involvement.  You are defined by so much more than your appearance.

 

2.  Appreciate the positive qualities of your body, especially what it can do for you.  Think about everything your body allows you to do:  walk, hug your children and enjoy seeing a sunrise.  Also think about what feels good to your body—the sensual pleasures.

 

3.  Engage in behaviors that help you feel good about yourself, such as exercising or buying an outfit that you look and feel good wearing.

 

4.  Limit your exposure to images that make you feel badly about your body.  Stop buying fashion magazines or men’s magazines that feature perfectly buff bodies.

 

5.  Seek out people who respect and care about your body.  Teach them how to talk about your body in a positive way.

 

6.  To help boost your body image and self-appreciation, you will need to identify and change your negative thoughts about your body.  For help doing this, check out Thomas Cash’ book The Body Image Workbook:  An 8-Step Program for Learning to Like Your Looks. . 

 

7.  The next step will be to examine what may be going on underneath your body dissatisfaction.  Is focusing on your body distracting you from addressing something else that needs your attention?  For example, is it possible that your relationship problems may be due to shyness and/or lack of social skills, rather than to your weight? 

 

This week at H3, we are focusing a little extra time on helping you create a loving relationship with the most important person in your life – you!  Because if you don’t love yourself, who will?