Is “Busy” the new “Normal”?

Lately I have noticed that I am coaching a significant number of individuals whose daily schedules and calendars are a huge challenge.  These folks are on the go from the wee hours of the morning until well into the night with a myriad of activities related to their jobs, home, family, school, volunteer commitments and other pursuits.  Listening to what they cram into 24 hours is enough to make me want to lie down and pull the covers over my head!

What’s wrong with being busy?  Absolutely nothing. 

Most of us get some pleasure from having a busy, productive life filled with new challenges and activities.  Even society places a certain cache on being super busy.  We admire those people with the gargantuan workloads, those individuals who hold down full-time jobs, train for marathons, travel extensively, and take French cooking lessons – while also finding time to write the great American novel and volunteer as a docent at the museum!     

It has also become quite chic to blame technology on being busy.  Having to constantly check your work email, personal email, Facebook™ and Twitter™ accounts while catching the latest cute cat video on YouTube™ -  well heck, being connected takes a lot of time!   

But lately it seems like things have gotten out of hand; so out of hand that “busy” is becoming our new “normal”.  And this new normal can take a toll on us, physically, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually.  For example, when I get really busy, I am quick to cut corners on exercise, sleep and eating the right foods – all of the things I need to maintain a healthy lifestyle and my sanity!

Blaming society and technology for our perpetual busyness doesn’t address the root cause of the issue - ourselves.  Often we find ourselves super busy because of the desire to feel needed and our need for security. Sometimes we take on too much because of our need for perfection or validation – “I’m the only one who can do the grocery shopping properly”.  We also succumb to hyper busyness when we take it upon ourselves to make sure everyone in our life is taken care of and happy.  This type of busyness is often associated with guilt.

 

So, what’s a busy person to do? 

First, recognize that you have choices.  If your day is too full, it is because you’ve allowed it to be filled to the brim.  

Second, consider what you value most and organize your schedule around those priorities.  If you value a strong, healthy body more updating your Facebook™ page with photos of your weekend, you might want to log-off the computer and spend those 30 minutes walking or going to the gym.  Look for ways to honor multiple values in your schedule – for example, cooking a nutritious dinner with your spouse or children allows you to spend time with your family and honor your value to eat clean, healthy food.

Third, practice saying “No” to those activities that don’t truly honor your core values.  If you have decided that you value a solid 8 hours of sleep each night, then it will be easier to say no when you are asked to serve on the night shift for the “Save the Turtles” campaign.  Remember - saying no is often a matter of passing by the good for the sake of the best.  

Perhaps most importantly, recognize that keeping busyness in check isn’t something that you do once and forget about.  Maintaining balance in our schedules requires focus and constant commitment, just like anything worthwhile in life.

Coaching Corner - It's About Time

Everybody wants more time. If you’re looking to find some “spare” time for exercise, meal planning, cooking, relaxation, whatever… forget it. If you’re like most people, your life is so overscheduled and overbooked, you can barely find time to take a deep breath, much less take optimal care of your health—unless, of course, you make health a top priority.

Nobody has any spare time. In fact, time is the great equalizer. The poorest person and the richest person on earth have exactly the same amount of it. So forget about finding extra time and focus on making time for the activities that support your health goals. Here’s how.

One of my colleagues and mentors, Dr. Jonny Bowden, shares this analogy: “Let’s suppose I gave you a bank account and I deposited $86,400 in it. There’s only one stipulation. You have to use it up in one day,” he says. “You either spend it or lose it. Now, wouldn’t you pay a lot of attention to how you used that money?

You have a bank account like that right now. It’s called time. You have 86,400 seconds in every day. If you don’t spend them creating the life you want to live, too bad. They’re gone. You never get to spend them again. Those 86,400 seconds are a gift from the universe. You’ve got the power and the responsibility to spend them in a way that makes a difference to the people you love and to yourself.”

In this context, we must take a hard look at where our time is going. When clients tell me there simply isn’t enough time, I encourage them to keep a log for one week to see how they are spending their time. Most of us have no idea how much time we waste every day. There are literally hours and hours at the end of every week that we could have spent on more meaningful activities. Where are you wasting precious hours?

This week, I encourage you to be more aware of how you spend your time. Do you genuinely want to make positive changes in your life? If so, then make a commitment to yourself and carve out the time. If you have been stressing about having no time to exercise, then you simply haven’t made a big enough effort to shift things around. Find the activities that eat up your time that are less important than the changes you wish to make. Then block out time on your calendar, and treat these appointments with yourself just as you would any other important meeting.

Everything starts in your thoughts. So, get clear on what you want, and start focusing your time and attention on how to make it happen. You get to choose how to spend your valuable account. And if you decide to use some of it to create a healthier life and a fitter, leaner body, the universe will cooperate with you. If you can commit, even when circumstances seem impossible, miracles can happen.

Coaching Corner: Don't Let Time Pass You By

Yesterday I walked into the grocery store at the south end of Hilton Head and the place was packed!! I had to stalk people leaving the store trying to find a place to park. Spring break has officially hit the island! As I was checking out I wished the clerk “good luck” with the rush of people. She replied “I actually do not mind being busy, it makes the day of faster.” That is a phrase that I have used before (not at H3 of course!) but this was the first time that I stopped and thought about what that meant. Why do we want the day to go by fast? Do we just want to get it over with? Is that how we want to live our lives…watching the clock and waiting for the time to pass?

There are some jobs or tasks that are not as exciting as we would like them to be. There are workouts that seem to last forever…but do we really want to wish our time away? I keep a sand hourglass on my desk at home to remind myself that time in not round as a clock face would suggest. Time is passing, just like those grains of sand, and we cannot get it back or get more of it.

There are times at the end of the week when I look back on the week and feel like a bull running through a china shop. When I am busy, I put my head down and push on. It is time that we start looking up and embrace each passing moment. Yes, we may not love the task at hand, but what can we do to bring life to this moment. How can I contribute and benefit the lives of others during my time? What can I notice that makes me smile and opens me up to the richness and depth of life? Whose day can I make? Giving away a thought, a smile, or a kind word can have a huge impact on another person’s day and make your time, no matter how monotonous it maybe, worthwhile.

Coaching Corner: Own Your Deadlines

Most of us live our lives one deadline at a time. Maybe it starts with making breakfast or packing before work, get the kids to school, drive to work, lunch break, finish up work, attend an exercise class, pick up the kids, cook dinner and maybe just maybe have thirty minutes to yourself before bed. Have you ever felt like you get in this zone where you’re simply meeting deadlines?  How many of those deadlines do you truly own?

What I’ve found is that some weeks can get like this, where we get into what I like to call auto-pilot mode. This is where you just hang on for dear life hoping that you’re not going to crash and burn before Friday hits. Ring a bell? I am pretty sure we’ve all experienced a week of this nature.

What matters here is that we need to stay out of this mode as much as feasibly possible and prepare for the auto pilot week. When a week like the one described above hits, what’s your game plan? Do you hang on for dear life or have you prepared yourself to remain focused and put your health as a continued priority?  For me there are a few non-negotiable deadlines that I always seem to own. These deadlines include sleep, the evening salad (I’m a creature of habit) and obviously my workouts. 

Remember this: we make time for the things that are important to us … Own Your Deadlines.

What’s your “Time Hog”?

There are 1440 minutes in every day.  Sixty minutes of that 1440 are equal to about four percent.  We are not here to argue the value of time; it’s certainly one of the most valuable limited resources.  We’re here to find a way to become resourceful with what little of it we have.  Sixty minutes of exercise seems daunting, but when compared to the amount of time we spend doing other erroneous activities it pales in comparison.  In fact, in 2010 watching television occupied 2.7 hours per day, accounting for about half of all available leisure time. In addition to television, we always seem to find time for music, video games and the internet.  It’s expected that in 2012 nearly 3,600 hours will be spent absorbing media—that’s 5 months!

So, let’s evaluate our time usage this week and figure out what is hogging our time.  Start by journaling your day in detail.  What activities can you cut back on so you have more time to dedicate to your health?

Take a Vacation from the Clock

As you read this, I am getting ready for my eagerly-awaited vacation. Tomorrow I’m heading to the NC mountains for my annual summer getaway with my dogs. My boys and I are excited about cooler weather and some fabulous hiking. Most of all, I’m looking forward to a temporary reprieve from the clock.

My life is dictated by schedules and appointments. When I’m not keeping appointments or trying (usually in vain) not to end my classes more than 10 minutes late, I’m rushing to catch the ferry to my island home. So much of my stress comes from time pressure, that it’s a huge relief not to be glued to my watch for a few days.

Several years ago, on a beach vacation with friends (who are as Type A as I am), I innocently suggested that we put our watches away for the weekend. My friends were appalled. “How will we know when it’s time to eat?” they asked me indignantly. Umm, when we’re hungry? “How will we know when it’s time to go to bed?” Umm, when we’re tired? Finally the group agreed to take a big risk, and we had a “ceremonial removing of the watches.” What a relief! We listened to our bodies, slowed down, and had a very relaxing break.

While I’m away this week, I will enjoy waking up naturally (no alarm clock!), hiking when it’s cool enough (not when it’s “time to go”), eating when I’m hungry, and going to bed when I’m tired. How refreshing that will be …. If you too are ruled by the clock, I challenge you to take a short break from it. Take off your watch and avoid the clock on your phone, computer, and TV. The world won’t grind to a halt ….

Take Care of Unfinished Business

With spring on the horizon, my thoughts (but so far, only my thoughts!) have turned to spring cleaning.  My closet is overflowing with clothes and shoes I no longer wear, and I still have books and “Important Papers” in boxes, three years after moving into my house.  The organizational experts claim that a cluttered house is a sign of a cluttered mind.  If that’s really the case, I’m in trouble!  Now is the time to start tackling some of my clutter, one pile or box at a time.  If you want some help getting organized, check out www.flylady.net, recommended by an H3 guest. 

Perhaps even more disruptive than physical clutter is mental clutter—an overload of ideas, issues to consider, threats to worry about.  With mental clutter, you have too much on your mind.  Mental clutter can sap your energy and make it difficult to focus on taking care of yourself.  To reduce this clutter, take care of any unfinished business in your life.  Deal with it one way or another.  Either take care of it, or forget about it.  Make a decision. 

My house, that’s for sale, has a buckling hard wood floor.  For the past two months I’ve been trying to decide whether to repair the floor or carpet over it.  The repair quote—which I received last week--took a month, so I’ve been in limbo.  Meanwhile, I’ve had those darn floors taking up precious mental space.  Time to make a decision and take action!  Taking action usually feels better than being stuck. 

To free up your energy, deal with that project you’ve been avoiding, or make that decision you’ve been putting off.  Schedule that doctor’s appointment or take care of that little rattling noise in your car.  Or decide to let something go.  Perhaps those books can stay in boxes a little longer…

Make Time for Your Healthy Lifestyle: Schedule Your Priorities

“Lack of time” is one of the most common reasons people give for skipping their exercise and making unwise food choices.  At the end of a long day filled with work, family, and other responsibilities, finding the energy to exercise can be challenging, if not impossible.  Tasks that seem Urgent—meeting work deadlines, doing household chores, paying bills, dealing with crises—often crowd out important matters such as physical activity and healthy meals.

 

To make time for your healthy lifestyle, you first have to identify what behaviors and activities are most important to you.  Think about important behaviors in these areas:

 

-  Physical Activity

 

-  Eating

 

-  Stress Management/Relaxation

 

-  Sleep/Rest

 

-  Social/Relationships

 

 After you’ve identified the important behaviors/activities, schedule these first, before you fill in your time with other tasks.  You will probably need to block out time for physical activity, healthy meals, and relaxation. 

 

For example, you may choose to block out time for exercise from 7 to 8 AM.  You may designate a lunch hour and then choose not to schedule meetings during that time.  After you’ve scheduled your priorities, then you can fill in your other responsibilities around them.  By doing this, you will be more likely to have time and energy for the activities that truly matter to you.